It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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