Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
