I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
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uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
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Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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