im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We need a shit load of segways right now
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
