No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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