she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
