Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
40s are totally the cure
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize