Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
