seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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