Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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