Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
