ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
