i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
