please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize