im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
