the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize