ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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