Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

he wants to bone in the snuggie

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now

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(360): View more from Washington

It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?

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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel awful

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Physically or morally

(513): View more from Ohio

Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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(810): View more from Michigan

Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot

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(720): View more from Colorado

Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole

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(727): View more from Florida

You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.

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