i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
