Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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