i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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