I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
