Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
