and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
