I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
