Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
