I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
