It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
