So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
