Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
