I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
