pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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