THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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