Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
