Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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