your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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