i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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