I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
nutella sex= disaster
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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