Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
