Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
