Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
NoShamevember. You game?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
