haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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