I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
