it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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