im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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