Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
