I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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