think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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