Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
