so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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