I want to walk on stilts...naked
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I could fuck to npr.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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