i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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