Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
