can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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